Sleep

I like to sleep, well the idea of sleep. Preparing and planning for hours of nothingness, restoration, if you will. The set ritual followed by the thought of sleep. The comfort of my duvet and blankets piling on top of my body as if trying to disappear. The act of closing one’s eyes after being so awake for too long. A possible break from the real world. A break from all the chaos. As much as many people don’t get enough of it I can say without a doubt that it is on the top of many peoples’ favorite activities (if it can be classed as one).
The worldly idea of sleep connoting with vulnerability and peace. The simplicity of the act making it an easy enough topic to converse about, and easy to digest discussion regarding the wellness and time allocated for one’s sleep. Although it might be on the list of themes in which many people group into ‘small talk’ the start of this conversation can lead to the person receiving the information- if one is observant- to be understanding of the person and receive more insight of what the person is really like, their lifestyle,what affects them and a small possible peek into their mental state.
As I put my head on the pillow, my arm around a recently gifted plush toy, close my eyes and try and close my eyes to take me to the next dread filled day. I slowly reach for my phone after quickly giving up on my quests to rest at a reasonable time, though truthfully I really should have slept hours ago. Scrolling through the various different but all the same, apps, pinning and liking and screenshotting till I can’t take anymore. I decide to try again nervously checking my alarm, paranoid it won’t go off; quickly calculating how long left till the dreaded ‘bing’ and vicious vibrations of my phone. I close my eyes and try fixing myself into a comfortable position. Out of nowhere thoughts of the day’s events, commitments to fulfill the following day and every possible thought trying to stop me from resting. Restless I give up and get up, slowly pushing my window open a stare out into the night sky and peer down at the state of the quiet street. Breathing and hearing each creak, wind howl and once in while a single car driving down the road. I then decide to finally sleep. This time sleep whisks me into a land of nothingness, mostly filled with dreams I can’t make sense of like murky water swirling around merging everything into one.                                                                                         The following day letting people know in conversation, if the subject of the matter showed up, that I slept just fine, just maybe a little too late.                                                         Why?

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